How to Write a Eulogy (Even If You’re Not a Public Speaker)
Writing a eulogy can feel like an overwhelming responsibility, especially if you’re not used to speaking in front of others. At such an emotional time, finding the right words may seem impossible but a eulogy doesn’t need to be perfect. It simply needs to be sincere.
At FP Gaunt & Sons, we understand how important it is to honour a loved one in a way that feels personal and meaningful. This guide will help you write and deliver a heartfelt eulogy, even if public speaking isn’t your strength.
What Is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial service that celebrates a person’s life. It’s an opportunity to share memories, reflect on their character, and acknowledge the impact they had on others.
There’s no “right” way to write one, what matters most is that it comes from the heart.
Start Simple: Gather Your Thoughts
Before you begin writing, take a little time to reflect. You might find it helpful to jot down:
- Special memories you shared
- Their personality traits or quirks
- Things they loved (hobbies, places, people)
- Stories that capture who they were
- What you’ll miss most
Don’t worry about structure at this stage, just focus on getting your thoughts down.
Create a Clear Structure
Having a simple structure can make the process much easier. A eulogy typically includes:
1. Opening
Introduce yourself and your relationship to the person.
2. Middle
Share a few meaningful memories or stories. These don’t have to be grand; often, it’s the small, personal moments that resonate the most.
3. Closing
Reflect on their legacy, what they meant to you and others, and say a final goodbye.
Keep It Personal and Honest
You don’t need to use formal language or try to sound like a professional speaker. Speak as you normally would.
It’s okay to include:
- Gentle humour (if appropriate)
- Emotional moments
- Imperfections that made them human
Authenticity will always be more powerful than perfection.
Don’t Worry About Being Emotional
It’s completely natural to feel emotional while writing or delivering a eulogy. If you need to pause, take a breath, or even ask someone else to step in briefly, that’s absolutely okay.
Many people find it comforting to:
- Print their eulogy in a large, easy-to-read font
- Highlight key sections
- Keep a glass of water nearby
Remember, everyone in the room understands how you’re feeling.
Practice (Just a Little)
You don’t need to rehearse endlessly, but reading your eulogy out loud once or twice can help you:
- Get comfortable with the flow
- Adjust any parts that feel too long or unclear
- Build a little confidence
If speaking in front of others feels daunting, consider practising with a trusted friend or family member.
Keep It Short and Meaningful
A eulogy is typically around 3–5 minutes long. Focus on a few meaningful points rather than trying to cover everything.
It’s better to say a little with feeling than to say a lot and feel overwhelmed.
Remember: You’re Not Alone
If the idea of writing or delivering a eulogy feels too difficult, you can always ask someone else to help. This could be a family member, friend, or even your funeral director.
At FP Gaunt & Sons, we are always here to offer gentle guidance and support during this time, helping you create a service that truly reflects your loved one’s life.
Need Support?
If you need help planning a funeral or guidance on any aspect of the service, the compassionate team at FP Gaunt & Sons is here for you every step of the way.
