What Is a Wake at a Funeral?
At F.P. Gaunt & Sons, we understand how important it is to honour the life of a loved one in a meaningful way. For many families, part of this farewell includes holding a wake. But what exactly is a wake, and how does it fit into a funeral?
Whether you're planning a funeral or attending one for the first time, this guide will help you understand the purpose, traditions, and practicalities of a wake.
What is a Wake?
A wake is a social gathering held either before or after a funeral service. Traditionally, it gives family and friends a chance to come together, share memories, offer support, and celebrate the life of the person who has passed away.
Historically, wakes were held at home with the body present — a time for prayer, reflection, and keeping vigil. Today, a wake is often a more informal occasion held after the funeral, where guests can talk, eat, drink, and remember the deceased in a relaxed setting.
When Does a Wake Happen?
Most modern wakes take place after the funeral service or cremation. However, in some cultures or religious traditions, the wake may happen the night before the funeral.
Where is a Wake Held?
A wake can take place in a variety of venues, depending on the family's preferences and budget:
- A family home
- A local pub or community hall
- A hotel function room
- A church or religious venue
- A funeral home’s reception area
At F.P. Gaunt & Sons, we can help you find a suitable venue and assist with catering or arrangements.
What Happens at a Wake?
Wakes are often informal and relaxed. There is no strict structure, but common features include:
- Refreshments or a buffet
- Speeches or toasts
- A memory table with photos or keepsakes
- A condolence book for guests to sign
- Music or a slideshow
- Time to share stories and support one another
Wakes can be as simple or as elaborate as you wish — what matters most is that it reflects the wishes and personality of the person being remembered.
Is a Wake Religious?
A wake can be religious or non-religious, depending on the beliefs of the deceased and their family.
In Catholic and Christian traditions, a wake may include prayers or readings. In other cases, it may be entirely secular, with no formal proceedings at all. You have full flexibility in how the wake is structured.
Do You Have to Have a Wake?
No — a wake is entirely optional. Some families choose not to hold one for personal, cultural, or financial reasons. Others may opt for a more private memorial or celebration of life at a later date.
If you're unsure, F.P. Gaunt & Sons can help you decide whether a wake is right for your circumstances.
Wake Etiquette: What to Expect
If you’re attending a wake and unsure what’s expected, here are a few general tips:
- Dress appropriately: Usually smart or respectful clothing, though some families request bright colours.
- Arrive on time: There’s no strict time, but try not to arrive too early or late.
- Be supportive: Offer your condolences but respect others' emotions and privacy.
- Share stories: If you have a kind or funny memory of the deceased, don’t hesitate to share it — it’s often appreciated.
- Respect the tone: Some wakes are sombre, others are joyful celebrations — follow the family’s lead.
FAQs
Do you bring anything to a wake?
It’s not required, but a sympathy card, flowers, or a small dish (if it's a home gathering) is always a thoughtful gesture.
How long does a wake last?
Usually 1 to 3 hours, but it can be longer depending on the venue and the number of guests.
Can children attend a wake?
Yes, unless otherwise requested by the family. It's a personal decision and depends on the family’s wishes and the child's age or understanding.
Do I have to speak at a wake?
No — speaking is completely optional. Many people simply attend to show support.
Can I have a wake without a funeral?
Yes — some families opt for a wake or memorial gathering in place of a formal funeral service.
Compassionate Guidance from F.P. Gaunt & Sons
Whether you choose to have a wake or not, our team is here to support you every step of the way. From planning the funeral to organising the gathering afterwards, we provide personalised care, compassion, and expertise.
📞 Call us today on
0121 559 1062
📧 Email:
enquiries@fpgaunts.co.uk
